what’s that… a light at the end of the tunnel?

At the risk of sounding cliche, I am starting to get the feeling that the universe is pointing me in the positive direction I want to go in. Placing opportunities in front of me to help me stumble towards the next step. I have been lucky enough to meet with someone (we’ll call him Josh) who has lit the first fire in my belly to make a move towards change. He gave me amazing words of encouragement and support and then pointed me in the direction of two women I should talk to who could also help me with my vision to make fitness more than just a way a life…. to make it a career. And tonight I was blessed enough to meet with two brilliant women who were willing to talk about their personal journeys, and the hurdles they had to overcome to make fitness their lifestyle and careers. These fantastic women were willing to meet with a complete stranger to give words of support and answer all my questions, and even help allay my fears and doubts. I feel like I’m on top of the world!

And further to the point of the universe placing these people in my life, I went to get a haircut today from my stylist (of 15 years) and he told me that he might not be cutting hair for much longer. He said he had been studying to be a personal trainer and that he was focused on phasing hair styling out of his life and making personal training his fulltime focus. Not great for my hair situation, but so exciting to talk to him about how I want to do the same. And heck, if he could do it at 47, I could do it 39!

Wow, I’m just so full of gratitude right now! And hopeful… for the first time in a long time. Maybe I can do this. Just maybe I can walk away from a corporate job that is draining my soul and move towards something that not only helps me… but would help others as well! I could make fitness my lifestyle and do something positive…

My head is swimming with ideas and excitement…. but where to begin?

Seems that continuing my own workouts while getting certified is the next step. But there are so many options with where to get certified, and everyone has a different opinion. It’s overwhelming! Must do some reading and deciding…

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And so it begins……

So I’m turning 39 in a few days and I’ve decided I want to change careers. I know, I’m not the first person to make such a decision so late in the game, but it feels…. monumental. Overwhelming, even.

Part of the problem is that I am incapable of baby steps. I want to do it all, right now, and done perfectly from the start. This sort of thinking can be paralyzing, even as I try to build this blog and get a new Twitter account up and running. I am toiling over the small stuff, like ensuring perfection in terms of how said blog and Twitter pages look. It’s utter madness as I fight my urge to not roll these pages out until I feel they are viewable for the masses. They must look perfect or people won’t come back! won’t read! won’t share and support!

Honestly, my need to be a perfectionist has been my own worst enemy… but I believe I can harness it for good. I just need to learn to take things one step at a time so that I create a process, and lifestyle, that is sustainable.

I feel like a little kid with her face pressed against the glass of a window at the gym; I see all these people in there doing things I would like to do. They look happy and healthy. They look positive and energetic. And I want to be part of that…. but I feel like I am on the outside of it all. And I want to change careers and be part of an industry I know virtually nothing about?? I don’t even go to a gym! I am the kind of girl who likes to get her sweat on to P90X in the comfort of her living room when she won’t embarrass herself in front of others. Where I have fewer excuses not to do it, as my “workout room” is a mere 6 feet away.

This blog will be my journey, wherever that journey leads me. I will take my baby steps as I get back into working out, after too long an absence. And then I will see how to grow my passion from there into a direction that best suits me; will it be nutrition, a deep personal interest for me? Will my workouts lead me to grow beyond my living room and into the gym? Will I find a teacher and mentor who will help lead me in a direction that speaks to me?

I am (nearly) 39 and I have yet to decide what I want to be when I grow up… but I’m going to find out!